At the centre of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want - Lao Tzu
Over the past few months I have been thinking about this quote a lot. As an individual, I’ve always struggled to be myself, and if you’re someone who struggles with that to, then please do read on.
The need to be someone else only radiates into each and every aspect of your life. You develop complexes at work, relationships and with your sense of self. That is a lot of burden to carry.
Here’s what I’ve learned over the past few months:
Five years ago, I had started on the path of service and soon realized that I am my true self when I am serving. That’s my strength. Now, because of my complex of not being able to be myself or be someone I’m not, I began to divert from what felt right (the desire to help) to what I thought was needed - more clients, more sales, more more more of everything. The funny thing is, potential clients can feel that difference, and they run far away from you.
I’ve now started to see the importance of slowing down, and connecting with my core being and listening to that voice within that was screaming to be heard. I began to feel the real value of trusting that voice, and building a solid relationship with myself, and eventually with the people I serve.
Over time, I started to feel a sense of ease. I began to let go of the thought of having to get things right. I began to slowly let go of all the self-judgement and self-doubt I carried for years, and eventually started to get comfortable in the space of uncertainty. I started to see that the only way forward to growth and authentic living was, to be honest, receptive and ready to take on the unknown.
I’m reminded of a book I read a few years ago, by Melissa Ford and David Moore. Here's what I took away - whenever you're faced with the question "how"? Remember the acronym H.O.W. - Honest.Open.Willing.
As a coach and therapist, if I have to be honest then it's this - service has to be solid inside of me, not just professionally. While a powerful marketing plan is essential, it simply cannot replace a desire to help.
Here are a few things to ponder over while taking those first steps in being your true self.
What’s the voice inside you telling you every night before you sleep?
What are the areas of your life in which you are not being honest with yourself?
What are some of the patterns in you that you need to let go off, because they are not serving your core being?
What are the excuses you make because you’re afraid to change?
Which part of your core are you afraid to go into because you’ve been conditioned not to?
What are the honest conversations you need to have first with yourself, and then maybe with others?